berakhirnya sebuah penantian..

assalamualaikum..dengar la citer.. tadi mse kelas tutor MLS, ada org call, aku ingat sape la sebab no x dikenali..so, mula2 aku x jawab tapi bila org tue call x henti2, aku pun rse apa yg dia nk ckp tu must be s/thing important..aku pn jawab..

mula2 aku tanye siapa dia tp dia x jwb, dia terus tanye no mak aku.. oleh sebab aku xtau saper dia aku pun ingat dia tanye no 'mark anthony'(budak Sabah), aku pn cakap ar aku xde no dia... aku ckp dgn org tue yang aku ada kelas tp dia lak minta aku kuar kelas jap.. aku xkuar sebab takut.. dia pn letak tepon..

tak lama pastu baru aku terfikir yang org tu mungkin tanye pasal mak aku.. tibe2 aku dapat mesej yang bunyinya lebih kurang camni..

"kalau mak tepon gitau dia zainab Kuala Lumpur dah meninggal petang semalam.. xcident langgar lari.."

astaghfirullahalazim.. aku macam x percaya apa yang aku baca.. kakak yang selama ni aku tunggu berbelas tahun untuk jenguk aku dah meninggal sebab accident.. dalam hati aku masa tu cume tuhan yang tahu.. kecewa, marah, sedih.. semuanya ada..

aku sedih sebab dah berbelas tahun aku tunggu bilakah waktu aku akan dapat jumpe dia.. kalau dia x kenal aku pn xpe..aku x kisah sebab aku tahu dia mmg x suka aku..tapi tiba2 je aku dapat tahu perkara tu xkan berlaku sampai bila2..

yang aku geram tu sebab aku rasa penantian aku selama nie macam sia2 jer.. waktu dia meninggal pun aku x dapat tengok.. waktu dia dikebumikan pun aku masih x dapat tengok dan hasilnya aku x tahu pn rupa dia camne.. dalam ingatan aku xde langsung potret dia..

dalam masa yang sama aku tetap bersyukur, aku sedar semua kejadian itu tidak dijadikan sia2.. semua yang berlaku tentu ada hikmahnya..dan aku mula sedar hakikat semua tu.. mungkin Allah ingin mengakhiri penantian aku selama ni.. disebabkan aku asyik menanti dan mengharapkan impian aku jadi kenyataan, aku selalu tertekan dan sedih.. mulai dari sekarang aku x perlu menanti lagi.. dan aku bersyukur penantian ni berakhir juga walaupun dalam keadaan yang menyedihkan..

aku redha dengan kehendak Allah yang esa.. sesungguhnya Dia lebih tahu akan sesuatu..

untuk arwah kakakku.. akan ku cuba lupakan peristiwa yang mengguris hati antara kita..

...Al-fatihah..

nak kena cri report la pulak..

assalamualaikum...

malam nie aku nak luahkan ape yang aku rasa masa nie..

esok ada BEL..aduhai..jmpe g dgn mdm tu.. bukan x suka cme cerewet sgt la dia.. tension aku dibuatnya.. aritu da bawak da report bg dia tengok, da terang2 benda tu report lagi dia nak argue dengan aku ckp benda alah tu article.. bila aku cakap benda tu ada sume yang memang sepatutnya ada dlm report, tau dia ckp apa? dia kata cmni, " for me, it doesn't look like a report, it seem more likely an article.. pening aku dibuatnya.. ingatkan dah settle rupe2nye x gak..

fuhh..lega bila dapat luahkan kt cni..

test const teruk..

assalamualaikum.. hm.. semalam dapat markah test const.. mdm panggil sorang2, mula2 jer dia cakap nk jmpe sorg2 aku terus rasa seram sejuk.. agaknye pasal da tau markah aku teruk kot.. markah test tue aku dapat x smpai separuh pn daripada markah penuh.. frust giler.. menyesal lak aku selalu tido dalam kelas.. tapi nk wat camne, da ngantuk.. aku pn xtau kenapa sem nie aku rse teruk giler.. boleh kata xde satu kelas pn yang aku concentrate dari awal sampai akhir..

kdg2 terfikir gak ni ke penangan aku makan maggi selalu sgt.. kata org nanti jadi pelupa.. hm.. xpelah.. nasi da jadi bubur.. tapi xla sepenuhnya jadi bubur coz mdm aku still bagi chance untuk aku perbaiki markah dengan bg take home test a.k.a assignment.. banyak soalannya tapi markah sepuluh jer.. xpelah, syukur la dia bagi gak peluang tu..

mintak2 pada tuhan biarlah assignment niwe aku leh wat dengan baik.. kalau x juga dapat markah yang elok, susah la aku sebab kena skor habis2an utk final nanti..

hm..pengajarannya, janganlah selalu makan maggi sebab ia boleh mengurangkan kebolehan otak untuk mengingat.. hm..dan mungkin gak memendekkan umur.. huhu..siapa tahu kan...so, start hari ni nk cuba ubah tabiat suka makan maggi.. hehehe.. good luck untuk diri sendiri n sesiapa yang senasib dengan aku.. huhu..siapalah agaknye yer..

rayer..

morning...! today is the first day in campus after Hari Raya break...boring..

hm..this raya was just the same as raya..not so much fun as expected.. i don't know exactly why i had that kind of feeling.. maybe bcoz i find that raya is not that special since i didn't meet my siblings..step siblings actually.. oh yeah..i forgot..i met one.. my step brother.. he's okay.. trying to win my heart but don't know why i can't accept him as i should.. maybe history taught me not to trust someone easily as he or she may have bad plan on me.. hmm.. forget about that.. i have another story..

on 17 October 2009, i was supposed to go home for Hari Raya break.. while i was in the bus, i sent a message to my old friend, Mr..who is actually my first love..hehehe.. i asked him where he was and he replied that he was on the way to JB..he was also on his way to home.. coincidence..! he was driving his car.. we had such a long conversation via mobile phone and suddenly he asked me how do i get home after reach JB..i said i don't know..maybe my uncle pick me by taxy..

and u know what, he said that he was about to go to Serkat, not so far from my home.. he offered to send me home.. i was shocked.. it's hard to believe that i'll be on his side along the way from JB to my home.. oh God..thanks..it was really enjoyable to sit in a car with someone adorable and kind..especially someone u has admired for so long.. the story does not end yet.. after that night, we frequently message each others and talk, talk, and talk...most of the time, mengarut jer.. huhu..

even though this raya was boring but the time i had with him was enjoyable.. i will always remember.. thanks a lot to Mr. who has made my time more precious.. and who has made my lips cannot stop from smiling.. i'm proud to be your close girlfriend even though not the special one..hehehe..maybe in future..! who knows..! if God want it to happen.. hm..

end of story..

my 20th bevday

yesterday was my bevday..i thought i won't celebrate it as my frenz always did.. maybe those who doesn't know me think that i'm a weird person! but maybe it's true..yes! i admit it.. but actually, i'm not use to celebrate my bevday since my father passed away when i was five years all..

suddenly at the early morning of this 20th bevday, one of my fren called me and i thought it was only her..but then i heard lots of noise came from the others.. oh my God! they sang a happy birthday song for me.. i'm touched.. all of them wish me happy bevday.. thank you guys..oops..actually girls..

things got more exciting when my bestfriend ever asked me to go out celebrating my bevday.. when i asked her where would we go, she only answered me.."it's a secret..!".. she also asked me not to come to the tutorial..what a naughty fren..but kind! okay, story continued.. after attended a class in the morning, we went out..

she treated me n asked me to do some facial..! i'm truly shocked when heard it for the first time..never done it before..! all was supported by her..! well, i should thank her a lots for that precious time i had..

she also bought some little things that used to be hang at the handphone..don't know what it's called in english..she gave not only one but three..! well again, thank you my fren.. you're the best..and all the best for you..!

after that, we went home and i realised that all i have to do is to enjoy whatever i had and not to remember the sadness that won't leave me in peace... now i know, all my frens want me to be happy especially her..i've learned a lesson..never think about things make me sad..it's a waste of time, isn't it? i just want them to know that whatever they have done for me, i really appreciate it and i will always remember.. thanks again..